Ever since my mom died of breast cancer at the age of 47, when I was 14, I knew I would have to face the breast cancer demon myself someday. I just didn't expect it to be when I was only 34. Getting breast cancer so young really wasn't in my life plan.
Over the years I have talked with many of my students about what it means to be brave. I don't think it means that we are never afraid. Instead, I believe being brave means that we go forward and do what needs doing despite being afraid or having hard things to face.
I start my chemo treatments on January 16th, one week from today, and I'm afraid. But I'm trying to be brave. I have some pretty good reasons. My deepest wish is to see my Ben, Sara, and David grow up and not leave them motherless. I think about my husband Ryan and his quiet, gentle strength. My heart aches for my students, how much I miss them and all the things I wish for them. For me there really has ever been only one choice. I will be brave.
The best part is I know I don't have to be brave all by myself. I have all of you. Thank you for the countless prayers, the happy thoughts, good vibes, and words of encouragement. They mean so much to me. I also know I have the love and support of my Savior. He will never leave me.
I love you all. Thank you. Be brave and I will too.
Charlotte, you are already one of the bravest people I know. I have no doubt that you can get through this. And you and your family are loved by so many people. You will be okay.
ReplyDeleteI have to ditto what Tiffany wrote. That is what I was feeling and going to say. You are loved so much. Reading your words brings me to tears. You are a very strong person. You are a true example to me. I love you! :)
ReplyDeleteYour blog post made me think of David in the story of David and Goliath. I think he was one of the bravest people in the Old Testament. I am sure his knees were knocking and he was scared as he faced the giant that was SO much bigger than him, but just like you, he made the determination to be brave. he could have run the other direction (and so could you have!). He could have said to his people, "I just don't have it in me to do this. Sorry, guys. SOmeone else can try. I'm done." But, like our dear Charlotte, he faced the giant and his stones saved all the people. You are wonderful and we love you!
ReplyDeleteHi Aunt Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteThis is your niece Julia. I know that you are a very brave person and that you will be fine.
Julia :)
Hey Char,
ReplyDeleteHaven't called to see how you are doing now that the chemo has started. I'm not brave enough. It's taken me a while to even know how to say what I'm thinking. I'm 47. Same as mom. My daughter is 13. Same as you. I don't know how you do it. You have more faith, hope, and courage than I. But, here's a bit that gets me through the day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8
Love A